So the wife tagged me with a big-ass bunch of getting-to-know-you type questions, and instead of responding via email I thought I’d put the responses up here instead of doing any actual writing today. I’m warning you now–this here’s kinda longish. But, because it comes from me, you’d be well advised to read every single word.
Away we go:
What time is it? 10:20 p.m.
What is your name? Allen Jason Holt. The “J. Allen Holt” part’s just something of an intended professional name–there’s some other schmuck who’s using “A.J. Holt” as a psuedonym, under which he/she publishes shitty crime fiction novels. I want to make sure I’m not confused with that person. Damn shame, too, because I would have liked to have used “A.J. Holt.”
Any nicknames? Not really, no. I will say that you can most definitely not call me Al. Ever.
Mother’s name? Patricia Holt. Not the writer.
Number of candles on your last birthday cake? Am I supposed to take this question literally or figuratively? I think I had three candles, but if you’re asking how old I am…thirty-four.
Date that you regularly blow them out? February 10.
Pets? One enormously fat yellow labrador and two small trained monkeys.
What is your favorite drink? Alcoholic? Newcastle or whiskey and coke (though there are some who will tell you I’m a big fan of Southern Comfort–those stories are all lies, I tell you, and you shouldn’t listen to those lying wenches trying to tell you otherwise). Non-alcoholic? Diet Coke.
9a. Tattoos? None. Never really liked cared much for them, and even if I did want one, I have enough trouble deciding on what to eat for lunch any given day to be able to choose something that would still be on my body, blotchy, smeared and faded, when my kids have shipped me off to the nursing home.
9b. Piercings? Not a one. And no, I don’t think not having tats or piercings makes me boring, thankyouverymuch. I’ve never felt the need to express my individuality by being just like everyone else and getting inked or pierced.
How much do you love your job (scale of 1 to 10)? Fluctuates between seven and eight (internet programmer at video-game company).
Birthplace? East End Methodist Hospital, Birmingham, Alabama.
Favorite vacation spot? Vacation?
Ever been to Africa? Nope.
Stolen any traffic signs? Why would I?
First thing you notice about someone of the opposite sex? Height. I dig tall chicks. Close second-through-fourth: hair, eyes, legs.
Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons.
Two-door or four-door car? Four-door. Have to be able to get the two small trained monkeys in and out.
Red wine or white wine? Red.
Favorite pie? Lemon ice box. Or maybe key lime.
Favorite number? 24.
Favorite movie? Oh, geez. I just can’t pick one. I’ll tell you the best two I’ve seen recently: Serenity and Batman Begins.
Favorite color? Blue. (The color of the eyes of the wife and both of the trained monkeys. Awwwwwwwwwwww.)
Favorite holiday? Father’s Day.
Favorite food? Lasagna.
Favorite day of the week? September-January: Sunday. February-August: Saturday.
Favorite brand of clothing? I so couldn’t care less.
Favorite TV show? “Firefly.”
Favorite music artist? Dave Matthews Band.
Most recently read book? Working right now on The Stingray Shuffle by Tim Dorsey (as you probably saw in that “Reading” box on the right side of the page.)
Perfume/cologne? Whatever the wife gives me to wear.
Favorite smell? Steak grilled with onions.
What do you do to relax? Read, draw, watch TV. Oh, and sex.
Favorite fast food? Pizza.
When was your last hospital visit? Last week, but not for me–for one of the monkeys.
How do you see yourself in ten years? Either as a successful writer/artist-type person or a successful business-owner-type-person. Preferably the former, but I need to be prepared for the latter.
What do you do when you are bored? Surf the ‘net. Frequently for porn.
What presents do you enjoy receiving? Books. Gift certificates for bookstores. Oh, and sex.
Furthest place you will send this message? Baby, this is the internet–I could be sending this to friggin’ Moscow for all I know.
(I cut questions 39 and 40 because I’m treating this like a meme instead of an email chain letter. No clogging up my friends’ inboxes for me! Anyone reading this far–feel free to do this on your own blog and send me the link.)
- What time is it now? 10:49.